


How to Battle Fate

by Menzosarres



Series: Swan Queen Week: Summer 2014 [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Prompt: Awkward Situation, Swan Queen Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 21:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1794211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menzosarres/pseuds/Menzosarres
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the season three finale, a bit of miscommunication with Henry leads Emma into a conversation with the wrong person, but sometimes an awkward situation is just the right spark to set things in motion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Battle Fate

**Author's Note:**

> These drabbles, shorts, and one-or-two-shots were all written for Swan Queen Week on tumblr. This is Day 1.

“Henry, I know I promised you a movie tonight, but… something’s come up and… I have to make… I need to talk to someone.”

Blinking up at his clearly stressed mom, Henry cocked his head. “This is about me, isn’t it?”

Emma paused halfway through shrugging on her jacket, caught in one of those more and more frequent moments when she wished her son could be just a touch less insightful. “Not exactly. It’s more about… parenting.” She sighed in exasperation. “It would all be a heck of a lot easier if a _certain someone_  would just talk to me but… what can I say.”

It was true. Ever since their kiss after returning from the past, Hook had been weirdly distant. They had gotten together for lunch the next day but Emma was preoccupied with worry over Regina, so Hook had ended up leaving in a bit of a huff after she had ended their goodbye kiss by asking, “Do you think I should try to talk to her again?”

“Emma, love,” Hook had muttered, clearly exasperated. “Regina is more likely to curse you back to New York than she is to listen to anything you have to say. Can’t you give it a rest? Focus on—” He gestured between the two of them. “—this?”

“It’s not that simple,” Emma had replied, unable to push the devastation on Regina’s face from her mind. “You know I can’t help but feel responsible.”

Almost glowering, Hook snorted derisively. “Believe me, I know. You haven’t stopped talking about it all night.”

“I’m sorry, but—”

“—How about we try this again when you get over your hero complex,” Hook cut her off.

With that, he had left an affronted Emma standing on the doorstep, distinctly aware that she had messed something up, but still not exactly sure how. 

Since then, Hook had been a ghost around Storybrooke. While the bump in their relationship was vexing enough, it was even more of a problem when she wanted to talk to him about Henry, about what it would mean staying in Maine and about what sort of role he would want in her son’s life.

Henry had certainly noticed her growing distraction, and he perked up at her words. “You want to talk? I bet I can help!”

Emma felt her lips quirk up in a half smile, amused at how determined Henry was to make every little problem she had into a new mission. “Thanks, but I think this is one I have to do on my own.”

“What if I told you I could make sure you were both in the same place, hmm? I know I could set it up.”

Emma wasn’t sure what luck Henry expected to have finding Hook and convincing him to talk to her again, but it was hard turning down that hopeful expression. “I dunno, kid—”

“—Please?” As Emma laughed, Henry could tell he had gotten her. “Great. Just be at Granny’s at six and I’ll make sure it’s perfect.”

For his own sake, Emma hoped Henry would pull it off. She hated seeing him disappointed.

—-

It had been unseasonably chilly in Storybrooke the past few days, so Emma had a bit of trouble getting the bug to start and ended up ducking into Granny’s at five past. Ruby met her at the door and hung up her coat, offering her a hopeful smile. “Henry told me what’s up. I’m rooting for you.”

Emma tried not to feel embarrassed. Did  _everyone_ know about her relationship troubles? Still, she allowed Ruby to steer her over to the farthest booth in the back. She caught a glimpse of the dark head in the other seat facing away from her and felt a flash of hope before Granny nearly walked into her carrying a brimming mug of something steaming hot. “Ah, sorry,” Emma muttered as she slipped backwards into the other seat, grabbing the saucer and helping Granny steer it to the table so it wouldn’t spill. “My bad.”

“You’re late, Ms. Swan.”

Emma froze. She had turned halfway towards the booth’s other occupant and was now distinctly terrified to turn the rest of the way. Swallowing thickly, she looked up. There sat Regina, wearing one of her dark pantsuits and an expression of clear distaste, looking every inch the Madam Mayor she was. “Ah, wrong booth?” Emma squeaked.

Regina’s eyes narrowed into slits. “If this is your idea of a joke, Ms. Swan, you are going to be sorely disappointed by my reaction.”

“I—no, I, what are you doing here?” she stammered in reply.

Regina started gathering the purse and sweater on the seat beside her. “Clearly I am wasting my time. I would never have expected you to use our son for something so trivial as this—” She stood, staring down at Emma with enough fury to melt a lesser being. “—but apparently I was mistaken.”

Just as Regina started to turn away, everything clicked, and Emma felt a sound claw its way up her throat that was half desperation, half helpless amusement. “Wait,” she gasped out. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry; I think I can explain.”

Slowly, Regina faced her once again, the look on her face no more welcoming than before. “This had better be good, Ms. Swan.”

Emma put her head in her hands, groaning aloud. “Henry and I… I think we had a little miscommunication.” She peered up at her son’s other mother through her fingers, making a desperately apologetic face. “I don’t even know how to… well…” 

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Regina muttered, sitting down again.

“I told Henry I needed to talk to someone about… I think the word I used was ‘parenting.’” She shook her head at her own stupidity. “And I said it was hard because we weren’t talking. Thing is… I didn’t say who. I meant Hook. Henry must have thought I meant you.”

When Regina just sat there, staring at her blankly, Emma finally realized what an opportunity she’d been given. “Not that I don’t want to talk to you!” she added hastily. “Actually, I’ve been wanting to talk to you since… I mean, the only reason Hook’s not talking to me is because of how much I wanted to talk to you and… only I was kind of worried you might send me flying across your yard again…”

Regina held up a hand, cutting off Emma’s hopeless babble. “You wanted to talk to  _Hook_  about _parenting_?”

Emma blanched, realizing quickly just how badly this could go. “Well, yeah,” she muttered.

Regina looked livid. “If you are planning  _anything_  to do with Henry you speak to me first, is that understood?”

Instantly defensive, Emma replied, “Hey! It isn’t as though you’ve been going out of your way to talk to me these past few days! Not to mention that you were never exactly discrete about Robi—” Emma choked back her own words as she realized what she had started to say. It was too late.

“I’m done with this conversation,” Regina snapped, standing again. She took five quick strides across the room before she stopped, shoulders trembling in anger. She spun around and approached Emma’s seat once again, bracing her arm on the tabletop and leaning in, too close for comfort. “I came here tonight because I care about Henry. He made one insinuation that you might still be thinking of leaving town and I came. I thought I might have to sit through some half-witted apology about you ruining my life but I was willing to do that to see to our son’s safety and happiness and what do I find?”

Emma had shrunk back as far as the booth allowed and it wasn’t nearly far enough.

“I find out that you couldn’t care  _less_  about Henry and who he spends time with, and then you have the  _nerve_  to lecture me about my  _indescretions?_  You have the nerve to even say his name after what you’ve done? You think you can just—just—” Regina’s tirade ended in a sudden shuddering gasp and, for the first time, Emma noticed the tears in Regina’s eyes. Pressing her hand over her mouth, Regina turned and raced from the diner, the bell ringing in the sudden stillness.

A heartbeat later, Emma raced after her.

“Regina, wait!”

It was déjà vu, seeing the mayor standing on the stoop, a silhouette against the streetlights. This time it was different, though. Her shoulders shook with more than anger and when she turned, she was losing the battle against the tears she was trying so hard to brush away.

“What more can you possibly do, Emma?” Regina hissed, voice breaking. “What’s left?”

“I don’t know,” Emma said. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t even know how to say sorry in a way that will mean anything to you. I—“ she paused, hating the anger she saw in Regina’s eyes but hating the fear there more, knowing that the fear was of  _her_ , fear that Emma really could find some other way to break her. “—I’m an idiot. I’m the worst savior in the world. I suck at magic and I don’t know how to keep Henry safe and I have screwed you over so badly that it’s all I can think about. And I’m sorry about all of that. But I guess—” She hesitated, gathering her thoughts. “—I don’t want to say sorry for bringing Marian back because saving her… I really felt like a savior. I felt like I was saying ‘fuck you!’ to… to that whole world.”

Emma realized how close she was to her own tears but she kept going. “You know how I feel? It’s like my whole life was planned out before I was even born and I hate it! I have had  _no say_  in anything since I first got here; not according to that storybook. When I finally got a chance to see the kind of world that made this mess I just…” she could feel herself running out of steam. “I just wanted to change something, and I wanted to do something right.”

Regina’s stare was heavy with judgment, but she looked less ready to flee. “So what, then?” she asked. “Am I supposed to pity you because you feel like a pawn in someone else’s game?” She scoffed derisively. “Try living my life.”

“I did, though,” Emma said quietly. “Well, not _your_ life, exactly, but the one you wanted. And that life… they were the best moments I’ve had. What you gave me with Henry… it was so real and then… afterward it just felt like one more thing I had no control over.”

Regina gave a bark of bitter laughter. “So you decide to reclaim your autonomy by what, screwing a pirate?”

“No, I—” Emma started, instantly defensive, but she stumbled over her own explanation in her mind before it could even reach her lips. “Oh.”

There was a long silence. Emma was reeling. Was Regina right? Sure, she’d never had much – hell, _any_  – interest in Hook before, but when they popped back out of that portal flushed with success and exhilaration, it had seemed like the perfect way to end it.  _The perfect way to prove I was making my own choices, not because I wanted him, but because I didn’t, and if I didn’t want him but I did it anyway, I could revel in that feeling of battling against fate._ She remembered the kiss, but now she realized something else. The rush she wanted so badly to believe had come from the man she was kissing had been there all along, a left-over buzz from saving a life and a marriage and her own future all in one night and  _I wasn’t battling against fate. I was just battling against my own resistance._

“Damn,” Emma finally muttered. Then, she started laughing

“Excuse me?” Regina asked, looking distinctly annoyed.

“You’re right,” she gasped out, the brief bout of laughter fading off with a bitter chuckle. “Hook isn’t any less of an ass this week than he was last week.” She groaned, sinking down to sit on the curb. “Sometimes I forget why I ever hated you and then I remember just how annoying it is when you’re right.”

Regina was looking at her as though she had lost her mind. “You think any of this is funny?”

Emma shrugged, patting the sidewalk next to her in the hopes that Regina would sit. “Not funny, really, but at least really awkward.”

Reluctantly, Regina sat and admitted, “Yes, it is that.”

“Why didn’t I just stay in and have movie night with Henry,” Emma mused wistfully.

Regina shrugged. “I hate to admit it, Ms. Swan, but somehow he always seems to know what we need.”

Glancing over, Emma realized that most of the anger had gone out of the woman beside her. “Emma. Please.”

“What?”

“You only call me Ms. Swan when you’re mad at me and I really don’t think I can stand it if you are. Still mad, that is.”

Hesitantly, Regina nodded. “I think this is the most words we’ve ever said to each other,” she mused quietly. “To tell you the truth, I… I planned on accepting your apology when you came tonight. I know you had… only the best intentions. If you weren’t the idiotically determined woman you are, do you honestly think I would let Henry anywhere near you?” She sighed. “I was ready for that apology and when it looked like you were just there to needle at what you’d done to me and Robin I… Well, that was my anger tonight.” Her expression grew distant. “I think I loved Robin. But maybe I loved the idea of him more than anything else. Either way, he deserves someone who actually knows, and now he has it.” Her lips quirked up into a sad smile. “You could have been a little gentler in breaking it to me though, Ms. Swan.” 

Her tone let Emma know she wasn’t really angry, but her next words were heart-wrenchingly sad. “It’s never pleasant to learn how easily you can be replaced.” Emma winced. “Anyway—” she started, standing up and brushing off the back of her pants. “—now I suppose things can go back to normal.”

Emma was fascinated by how disturbingly easy it was for Regina to return to an instant professionalism. She wasn’t ready for that, not after that brief glimpse of how Regina actually felt.

“What’s normal?” she asked, standing to put them on the same level. “Ignoring each other unless some big new evil shows up in town? Passing Henry back and forth whenever he wants and both of us feeling like crap when he leaves? Screwing up each other’s lives all the time because we’re pretty terrible at communicating?”

 Regina looked amused. “I think I’m beginning to know what it feels like to be in the middle of a divorce.” A smile crept onto her face. “I didn’t know fairy tales had divorce.”

Emma blinked, stunned at the accuracy for a moment. Finally, she burst out laughing.

When Regina joined in, Emma was startled. Pleasantly so. It may have been the first genuine laugh she had heard from the woman and it was so… carefree. There was no darkness hiding beneath the surface, no bitterness fighting its way free. She didn’t realize she was smiling at Regina like an idiot until an embarrassed look crossed her face. “What?” Regina asked self-consciously.

“Nothing just… I… Nothing.” Emma could practically feel Regina closing herself off once again at Emma’s awkward denial.  Not wanting to lose the tenuous connection they had just reestablished, she blurted out, “You’re beautiful when you laugh.”

Regina’s eyes widened.

“Oh, hell,” Emma muttered, surprised to feel her cheeks flushing.

A devious smile began to emerge on Regina’s face. “Why Ms. Swan. I didn’t know you had it in you to pay me a compliment.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Emma muttered.

Regina stepped closer, startling Emma by invading her personal space once again. The mayor was staring intently into her eyes, as though searching for the answer to a question Emma couldn’t even begin to imagine.

“I think we’ve been going about this all wrong since day one,” Regina said, voice so soft Emma could barely hear.

“We have?”

Regina nodded slowly. As her head tilted up the second time, Emma found a hand against her cheek. There was a frozen moment so fragile Emma worried that a blink would fracture it, and then Regina cupped the back of her neck and covered Emma’s mouth with hers.

This time, the rush was real. It was barely a kiss but Emma shuddered as her hands clenched helplessly at the air around her, wanting to reach out and touch Regina but afraid if she did there would be nothing there. Maybe if she hadn’t just watched this woman fighting back tears, hadn’t seen her desperate anger, this might have felt more tangible. As it was, when Regina eased back, one hand still tangled in Emma’s hair, she felt an all-consuming need to make sure that had really just happened.

Emma kissed her, not fleetingly this time, but something to imprint in her memory, to savor later when she woke up from the dreams she knew would be haunted by this woman’s face. She kissed more slowly and more carefully than she’d ever kissed anyone in her life, and when Regina traced her lips with just the tip of her tongue, the only thought Emma could find room for amid all the heat in her mind was that this kiss meant something altogether more important than she could ever put words to.

The world faded away until there was only Regina, living, breathing, offering Emma something more precious than the promise of tomorrow.

When they drew apart, Emma gasped out, “You know, I’m really glad I didn’t find Hook tonight.”

Regina traced her thumb along Emma’s bottom lip, an idly possessive gesture that had Emma’s heart racing. “Me too.” 


End file.
